This is a story about driving on the left-hand side of the road and doing things that make you question your sanity help you grow through discomfort.
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After visiting London in the spring, we decided we wanted to come back to the UK to explore beyond the big city. As part of that, we knew we’d need to rent a car, at least for some of the journey. Well, Brits drive on the opposite side of the road from what we’re used to, so we had to figure out how to overcome 30+ years of deep neural pathways to pilot our rental car. (Chris by far did better than me.) Honestly, it’s a wonder they let drivers from right-hand driving countries behind the wheel of an automobile in the UK without some sort of practice or test first!
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For whatever reason (ahem, $$$), they let us drive out of the Europcar parking lot and assumed we could navigate everything as if it were no big deal. But everything about driving on the opposite side of the road was a huge deal. You know all of those unconscious things you do when you drive, like check your mirrors, look left before turning, and note where people are around you? Well, they weren’t automatic when you first learned to drive at 15 or 16 or whatever age you were. They were very conscious actions you had to train yourself to take, and they took up a lot of cognitive functioning in your brain, which means you didn’t have a lot of room (or RAM!) left for much else, like having a conversation with someone or even listening to the radio.
Well, that’s almost what it felt like to drive in the UK. For starters, you’re sitting on the “wrong” side of the car*; that alone feels awkward. The gear shift (even for an automatic) is on your left, as is the engine ignition and the rear view mirror. If you’ve never experienced this, go get into your car on the front passenger side and visualize what this would feel like. At least the gas pedal and brake aren’t reversed! But the turn signals and windshield wiper controls might be.
Now you’re ready to drive, unless you want to sit in the parking lot forever (perhaps not a bad option!). As you pull onto the road, you have to tell yourself to get/stay on the left. Then when you see cars coming toward you on the right-hand side of the road you have to not freak out; they belong there, even though everything in your brain screams otherwise. Road lanes are narrow, so woe to you if you rented a “large” car like we did (to fit luggage). You will feel like you’re driving a semi truck down a country lane. You kind of are. And you won’t intuitively know the dimensions of the car, so you’ll feel like you don’t fit in the lane (you do, barely). You’ll start drifting left to give yourself space from the oncoming traffic but then you’ll come dangerously close on many occasions to driving into the curb or the hedges (why are they so tall and overgrown?!) and so your partner will yell “curb!” to help you adjust your position in the lane. You will appreciate this because you need a co-pilot.
When it’s time to turn, you’ll enter a roundabout. If you thought those were tricky in countries like Portugal, just wait till you’re navigating one going clockwise. Oh, mylanta. Your partner will remind you to LOOK RIGHT before entering. You will, but it will feel SO unnatural. And then you’ll look left, too, out of habit, LOL. Hopefully you’ll be in the correct lane for where you need to exit. If not, well, just make a lap or two of the roundabout a la European Vacation. On occasion you may need to turn right at a place that doesn’t have a roundabout. Remember: Stay on the lefthand side of the road! But don’t sideswipe the parked cars, which may take up half of your lane.
Note that it will not be enough to have Google navigation on because the following will sound almost like a different language:
“At Tricketts Cross Roundabout, take the 3rd exit and stay on Ringwood Rd/A347…At Palmersford Roundabout, take the 2nd exit onto Ringwood Rd/A31…Use the 2nd from the left lane to take the A338/B3347 slip road to Salisbury/Fordingbridge/Ringwood…”
So do have a copilot who, of course, will be sitting on your left. They can translate the directions into easy-to-follow steps like: “Keep going straight.” They can assist with other things, too, like helping you change lanes because trying to use your mirrors feels like writing with your non-dominant hand. It’s doable, but wonky and requires focus.
Eventually you’ll arrive at wherever you’re going. I mean, hopefully you will. Maybe your partner will believe so strongly in your ability to drive on the opposite side of the road that they’ll say hilariously supportive things like: “I think we should find a church so we can pray.” And: “It’s time to find god; repent, the end is near!” (True story.) Fortunately, you’ll think this is as funny as they do and laugh so hard you cry. But only after you’re parked.
Speaking of parking, trying to back into a space will feel like stepping into your pants with the opposite foot first. You have to twist around to the left instead of the right and the experience feels awkward. And if you ended up with a car that has no backup camera, you’ll wonder how you ever learned to drive in reverse to begin with. But with your partner’s help, you’ll park the car. And then your family will get out and take deep breaths because they made it alive and in one piece. They may even swear they’re never going anywhere else during your stay in the UK. Ha!
All of this to say: It is difficult to rewire your brain to drive on the opposite side of the road when you’ve been driving for a very long time! You can teach an old dog new tricks, but that dog is going to instinctively try perform the tricks they’ve perfected over time and they’re going to have to work very hard (dare I say be incentivized) to change.
As someone who has spent much of my working years in the field of learning & development, the experience of learning to drive in the UK as an American exemplifies why it can be so hard for us to learn new things: First, we have to unlearn or suppress what we know (but only some of it) and then relearn. This requires sufficient motivation (or fear, LOL!), support, and incentives, and it takes time and practice. Environment also plays a huge role in learning. I can honestly say that I’m quite grateful that UK drivers are patient. I’m certain that if I were a UK driver trying to learn to drive on the right-hand side in the US, I would’ve been honked at for being too slow and timid. I might’ve even been the person honking (eek).
Learning by nature is also going to involve some mistakes (hopefully not costly or disastrous ones). And it may be tempting to give up along the way. If fear is part of the driving force (pun intended), then it may make the learning harder because fear triggers the amygdala, which narrows our ability to think logically and rationally; reduces our ability to recall factual information or consider past experiences rationally; and increases disproportionate emotional responses. (You’ve read the Salobreña story, yes?)
Think about the last time you did something outside of your comfort zone that required any amount of unlearning and relearning. I’m willing to bet you experienced at least some discomfort, particularly if there was an element of risk involved. But most of us don’t like feeling uncomfortable; we’re creatures of habit and we like consistency and predictability. There’s an optimal zone in which we learn — it’s where we’re pushed enough to be challenged but not so far that we start to shut down. To put it back in car terms, we have to keep the RPMs from crossing the redline**; once they do, we’re not in a learning zone. And just as car engines have different redlines, each of us has different thresholds for where our learning zones are, and they can vary based on a lot of factors.
So many metaphors. Are you lost yet? ;) You might need a co-pilot. Make sure they have a rosary, LOL.
The bottom line is that learning new things can be really challenging and likely uncomfortable. But continuous learning is how we grow. It gives us much needed perspective, keeps us humble, and builds our compassion and empathy.
I’d love to hear about a time you tried something new that pushed you out of your comfort zone. What did you learn and what perspective did it give you? Did you redline or did you keep the experience below the threshold? What support did you have during the process and what difference did that make?
*Roughly 2/3 of the world drives on the right-hand side of the road. (One more source here.)
**I’m aware that the term “redline” also has a different connotation and, while that meaning is very important to understand, it’s not what I’m referring to here.