Where & How Do You Linger?
4 ideas to help you get started, no coffee necessary (unless you want some!)
I saw a headline recently that said: Starbucks Wants Customers to Linger. You may have seen it, too. The story went on to talk about changes the company is making, ostensibly to get customers to spend more time (and money) in store. Free refills, free water, and access to restrooms (for paying customers only). In Albania, people spend hours in coffee shops. Hours. And it isn’t because they get fancy caramel designs on their macchiatos or ceramic cups instead of paper ones.
It’s because culturally, coffee shops are the place people tend to gather to hang out and talk, in part because coffee shops are everywhere and coffee is really affordable. You can get a cappuccino for about 100 or 150 lek (about 1 or 1.5 Euros). But also, people have time to sit and socialize. They aren’t rushing kids to a million activities or spending their work days jumping from 30-minute meeting to 30-minute meeting with barely 10 minutes to grab lunch. And so it’s easier to linger because daily life reinforces the practice.
I believe many Americans (among others) would love to linger in a coffee shop or a similar third place/space, but so many are caught up in lives that don’t facilitate lingering. They’re rushing to and from jobs and taking kids to activities. It’s one continuous, exhausting hustle. Work hard, play hard, except mostly it’s just work. It’s a treadmill with no off button. To have time to linger, even for a little bit, you have to intentionally prioritize it; it doesn’t just happen because the environment doesn’t support it.
This is a big reason why people are burned out. And changes at Starbucks are unlikely to shift those cultural forces, even if some people linger a little longer and shareholders line their pockets a bit more.
So where and how can you make room in your life to linger? Because truly, this is part of self-care, and it’s worth prioritizing for your well-being. While there’s no silver bullet when the environment you’re in doesn’t naturally support it, here are a few thoughts:
Change your environment. I don’t mean sell your house and move somewhere else (though, I mean, you could, LOL). I mean find a pocket of time in your day when you can go be somewhere that gives you energy and/or helps you find serenity. Maybe it’s a coffeeshop. Maybe it’s a different room in your house or your workplace. (I used to pick up my laptop and head to a totally different building, one I had discovered by chance that had a fabulous view of the outdoors.) Maybe it’s by yourself or maybe it’s with other people.
Disconnect from technology. I’m not suggesting you delete your social media account/s or stop answering email, but put your phone in another room on silent (or turn it off!) and walk away from your laptop. Start with something as short as 5-10 minutes. No emails, no texts, not even a podcast. Practice being present. Take some deep breaths and rest your mind. Close your eyes or soften your gaze and let your mind wander. The whole point is to give yourself permission to just be.
Get outside; give yourself permission to be in nature. It could be as simple as sitting in the sun for 15 minutes or taking a short walk around your neighborhood or workplace. Of course, it could also be something more adventurous like skiing or trail running. If you can’t physically get outside, go sit by a window and stare at a tree or a potted plant. Looking at digital photos of nature can work in a pinch. Pay attention to your senses: What do you see? Hear? Feel? What can you touch? Can you taste anything?
Resume or take up an activity that puts you in community with others. (Re)kindle an interest in something outside of home and work that supports you lingering and connecting. Here are some ideas: Book club, cooking class, choral or music group, walking/hiking/running group, civic engagement (e.g., city council or school board meetings), fitness classes at a gym, art class. Yes, this one is going to require a bit more effort, but it’s within your control.
What’s the benefit? Each of these shifts your energy and focus, which can improve your outlook and your mood, help you think better, and give you the opportunity to interact with different people—or no one at all, if that’s what you need. None of them are radical, but they are possible right now. You can choose one of them today. No Starbucks purchase necessary (though you do you; I’m not judging). So what would it take for you to linger just a little bit? Let me know! I’d also love to know where and how you linger(ed).
This might be one of my favorite posts! While I love following all the things, this was so helpful at this moment in time. :)